How's The Serenity?

Can I just start by saying, I totally love my husband.

We met when I was a hard drinking, self esteemless, anxiety ridden 19 year old.  He represented loads of things I was struggling to find in myself, respect, confidence, self control.  He is, in many ways, the prince who saved me.

And he was totally good looking.

See, he's still totally hot.  

Sometimes due to my tendency to flap, panic, go off my narna, drink too much, act impulsively, shout too much when angry and other rather unfortunate personality flaws I really wonder where I would be without him.  He's put up with so much over the last 20 years.  He is a bit of a legend.

But tonight, he is in Melbourne.  For work.  Being busy and important as always.

And I cannot tell you how excited I am about it.

I get a whole night.  On the couch.  Watching what I want to watch.  Eating toast with vegemite and not cooking.

Can't wait for tonight baby.

Knowing I won't be woken up when he comes to bed because his bedtime rituals are loud and vigorous.  (And no I don't mean that).  He PULLS open the wardrobe, BANGS his shoes on the floor, RATTLES all the coat hangers, SLAMS down the toilet seat (doesn't change the roll).  Not because he's cross, just because he's a bloke.

Alternatively if I go to bed after him, he leaves the entire upper level of the house in darkness.  The whole bedroom.  I have to use my Ipad screen to see my way to the bathroom.  He has no problem with making sure there is absolutely no light for me to see with to perform my own bedtime preparation.  I often wonder whether he thinks I operate on sonar.  Or whether he just wants to punish me for not coming to bed when he does.  "Oh I'll get her, she wants to stay up? Well she'll have to cork her leg on the bedside table then, that'll learn her."

Tonight neither of these scenarios will occur.  No doubt I'll wake up at 2am with the bedside light still on, in a puddle of drool on the ipad screen.  (I always leave light on for him when I go to bed first, I'm nice like that).  BUT he always turns it off and puts my ipad away, because he's nice like that.

Just one night is fine.  I don't like the idea of him being away too long.  He sometimes has to go to the States for a week and the novelty wears off pretty fast, but just one night, even two, is magic.

Although when he goes to the State's we all get presents.  And sometimes mine are from Kate Spade.

I am absolutely sure he's pretty happy when I go away for a couple of nights.  Because I KNOW I'm bloody irritating to live with.

Perhaps it's because I did spend a lot of time by myself as a kid, I really like being alone.  I love knowing the kids are upstairs, tucked away asleep, and I don't have to talk to anyone.  I'm a bit antisocial really.

And he'll be back tomorrow, but because it's only 24 hours, I won't get a present.  Damn.