My yoga epiphany and girl crush.

This is not me.  Or Tania.

I have a tiny crush on my yoga teacher.  Her name is Tania.

What I love about Tania, is that while she's an expert yoga instructor, she isn't particularly thin.  She's by no means overweight, but she's just...well...normal shaped.  Soft and a little roly around the middle.

As a highly qualified instructor and yoga practitioner, she can turn herself inside out if she chooses, and occasionally does, to illustrate a posture. But she's not showing off.  She's comfortable with her skills and wants to share them with you, without overwhelming you or making you feel inadequate.

And she's healthy, her eyes glow, her skin is clear, she clearly loves teaching, and you can tell she gets as much out of the mental parts of yoga as she does the physical.

But perhaps because her daily activity isn't highly cardiovascular, she still has a softer shape.  But my goodness she's stretchy, and bendy and strong.

I wish I was stretchy and bendy and strong.  And glowing.  But I'm not.  I'm tight and scrunched and my forehead is all wrinkly.

It's similar I think to the face vs bum conundrum we all have to decide upon.  There are those who love the hard run, the heightened heart rate, the growing of strong muscles.  They have the potential to have a flat belly, no tuckshop arms etc.   I like the idea of this too, but I don't think I'm a slave to it.  I think I might be leaning towards yoga.

I want bright eyes, and clear skin and a peaceful brow.  I want the mental peace that comes with having even a tiny bit of control over what my mind is thinking about.   At the moment I have no control over my mind at all, meaning it spends far too much time thinking about stupid stuff I can't fix and not enough time on useful things which will help me and my family.

I have an excellent friend who is my personal trainer.  I love her classes.  She wants me to be fitter (I want me to be fitter), but I will never be reed thin with a rock hard physique.  I will always be soft and a bit squishy.

And as I do more yoga, I'm starting to enter the headspace of it.  And thanks to the way Tania teaches, I don't feel bad at all because I can't turn myself inside out, or do a headstand, or even bend over and touch my toes (tight hamstrings).  I've felt bad all my life because I can't touch my toes, but apparently my legs are proportionately long and my body short.  So it's just harder for me.  (Cue violins).

Can't do this.  Not even close.  But it's not my fault.  I'm poorly proportioned.  

Tania has told me this and that's why I love her.  She also told us that yoga was invented by Indian men with tiny pelvises (and lots of spare time) and it should be heavily modified for western women who have had kids.

I'm hearing you sister.

She props us up with bolsters, blocks and blankets so we can do each pose without herniating our discs or dislocating our shoulders.  And we are getting better, and stretchier and need less support.  So it's working.

I will always do training, and running and cardio stuff, so I can keep eating the food I love.  But not for the love of training, more for the love of food.

But yoga, I could see myself doing it just because I love it.  And Tania.