Tuesday, 6 November 2012

If the Melbourne Cup was an exam, I just failed it.


On Melbourne Cup day, the lines are clearly drawn.  You're either into it, or you're not.  And this year I'm just not.

If you have a 'real' job you get to go to work, join the office sweep, eat a bit of lunch put on for you and your colleagues if you're lucky.  Or go out for the time honoured fail to return luncheon (FTR).

Aaah I remember those days.

You might have a fancier dress on than usual, or funky shoes.  You plan to do very little work, if any and hope the champagne doesn't run out.  

Out in the suburbs, there are still luncheons going on.  I have been to a few.  Last year I even got all excited and hosted one and it was loads of fun.  Hugo's at Manly is (so I've heard) going to be wall-to-wall mums from the school.  Our after school care has been booked out for this afternoon for months.  Based on the vastly diminished number of people at school pick up, they are all somewhere Cupping away.

But today, I just can't be bothered.  I'm taking a year off the Melbourne Cup.  This morning I took Issy to the zoo with a friend from preschool.  It was splendid.  Talk about the clash of the A type personalities.  Her friend's Mum is German and completely disinterested in the Cup so we got along famously.

Confession: I did enter a sweep at my coffee shop.  I bought a horse for each kid.  Mike (a Melbourne Cup humbug if ever there was one) has also bought them one each from his work.

Maybe it's because I just don't enjoy horse racing, or going to the races.  I have been once, in Brisbane.  Based on that experience, if I never go to the races again, I will not be sad.  All that standing around in uncomfortable shoes just doesn't appeal.  I don't understand the odds, how to bet or where to bet.  I don't think I'd be any fun to go with because I'd just stand around with a confused expression.  Plus, I'm afraid of sinking in the grass and doing a Julia Gillard.

God I sound such a grumpy bum.  Sorry.

And finally there's the obvious discrepancy of the race being on EXACTLY when school finishes.  What were they thinking? Who are 'they' anyway?  I know Melbourne gets a public holiday but what about the rest of us?

Does any other city in the WORLD get a public holiday for a horse race? Discuss.

I think Perth would be a fine place to live for Melbourne Cup.  Race at midday, coupla hours of champagne and nibbles and then pick the kids up (obviously not in the car).

I think I may be fundamentally lazy.  I'd rather watch it on TV.  Which is what I just did.  With my 5 year old.  Bah Humbug to me.

PS.  One of my sweep horses was Fiorente.  Might be a free flat white for me!