Ladies and gentlemen, we no longer have a thumbsucker. It is official. I thought it would be a screaming, kicking nightmare. I've been putting it off for ages. But with the third dentist's appointment looming since we promised to work on it, I knew I could delay no longer.
So we talked about it. Endlessly. She cried. Gnashed her teeth (sort of). Refused. Cried more.
We made a promise to conquer the thumb by the end of October.
We discussed our methodology. First elastoplast or a big bandaid wrapped around it, and if that didn't work, some stop'n'grow stuff painted over that. And if that didn't work we had no idea.
We bought the tape and the stop'n'grow and still we waited. October ticked by. She still wasn't convinced it was the right thing to do. I hesitated, then I realised what she needed was an incentive.
So I let her pick a prize. Out of a Rebel Sport catalogue of all things. I think I was worried she'd ask for something pink and plastic. Plus, this way she picked something for everyone.
And this is her selection.
It's like, a little waterslide. Into the pool. I know it's obvious from the picture that it is a blow up toy, but the implications of this did not hit me until I had to blow it up.
For verily in truth, once she had something cool to aim for, she ditched that thumb like a non winning lick a prize paddle pop stick.
I strapped her with elastoplast. She cried a bit. The first night was a bit miserable but she was brave and determined. Four days later she was done. No stop'n'grow required.
Unfortunately, nearly 14 days later, the damn slide still hasn't made it to the pool.
At first I tried to blow it up by using just the air that resided in my lungs. The thing is enormous. I might have finished by Christmas 2013. Then I found the foot pump we take camping, attached it, and pumped for maybe 30 seconds before losing interest and wandering off. It then lay, untouched, for a week before I realised that enormity of the task was beyond my powers of breath or foot.
Luckily at this point, someone offered an electric pump. Issy and I hooked it up on Tuesday and managed to get it to the point you see below. Then I realised I had to move it from the spare room where it had spent the last few weeks, to outside, before it got much bigger.
Note: our house has stupid narrow doors. No idea why.
I pushed and shoved that baby through two doorways. The kids were eating breakfast at the time, and laughed so hard they all sprayed weetbix everywhere.
Nothing like a mad, swearing mother with a large blow up pool toy to brighten up your morning is there?
Finally it's outside. On the back deck. I still need to blow it up a bit more, haul it downstairs to the pool, fill two pouches on either side with water to stabilise it, and attach a hose for water flow so it gets slippery.
Issy's completely thumb free. And I haven't fulfilled my part of the bargain. Best get onto that.
Wish me luck.