Thursday, 30 August 2012

Every day is a leap of faith.

I used to plan stuff, and worry about stuff.  Way before it was due to happen.  Weeks ahead of a function we were throwing I’d be making a list and checking it twice and generally being OCD about it. 

I still plan stuff, and I still worry about stuff.  But my lead times are much, much smaller.   And I suspect as time goes on, they’ll become smaller still.  This goes against my natural grain, but I think it's doing me good.  My brain simply can't handle everything it needs to plan for at once, so it prioritises for me.  

One of my friends who has four kids, 10 and under said to me yesterday, “I just wake up in the morning and look at my phone and then I wonder how I’m going to get through the day.”  This particular friend is always calm, cool and completely gorgeous.  She brought a delicious and beautifully presented salad to the function we were at, and a lovely plate of veges and dips for the kids.  She is totally amazing.   I will never be her.  But I like her style.  You would never guess she was just flying by the seat of her pants, but it works for her.

You see, if you don’t stress out about what’s coming up on the calendar until the day it happens, it will save you a heap of worry, especially about hypothetical disasters.  Otherwise known as whethers. 

These include:

Whether no one will come
Whether too many people will come
Whether those who have rsvp'd will come and pay and not leave me out of pocket
Whether I have missed 10 people off an email list so they never get invited at all (really happened once, was shocker).
Whether there will be enough food (there is always enough food)
Whether there is enough drink (we have never run out entirely but at the 40th we drank every drop of champagne and beer)
Any weather related concern (still relevant if misspelled).
Whether you're going to forget anyone's name (almost guaranteed in my case)

And two classics:

How many kids sports events does it clash with?
Can we get everyone to where they have to be and home again with only one car?

Not getting too worked up about impending events may result in a bit of last minute purchasing and preparing eg. birthday presents, the salad you said you’d bring to the bbq, but you can save a heap of angst too. Although I don’t suggest it for things like birthday parties, or large gatherings because you’ll just end up in the shit.  

Two weeks before our 40th birthday party, my friends had to start hassling me about decorations.  I just didn’t have decorations on my radar.  I had the food and drinks sorted, and I’d ordered a cake and even sent out the invitations.  Luckily they took over and sorted me out and on the night we had twinkly lights and candles in the pool etc.  It’s pretty hard to make a silk purse out of the sow’s ear of a house we live in, but we did our best.    

Actually to tell the truth, I worry a lot more than I'm letting on. Usually about all the things above, and more.  But a girl can dream can't she?